THREE MEN in ZONZA - JK Jerome [...]
Harris, in the early days of his marriage, he passed a very disagreeable on account of quest'impossibità to know what is in combining the individual behind, on the tandem. He did a tour in Holland with his wife. The roads were very rocky and the tandem jump.
"Hold firm" Harris said without turning her head.
Mrs. Harris believed that he had said, "Jump down."
Why had thought of having to jump down when in fact he had told her "Hold firm", neither can explain. Mrs. Harris, when you return to the topic, says
"If you had said" Hold firmly, "because I never got down?".
E Harris replies:
"And if I wanted you to jump off, because I'd never said" Hold firm "?". The bitterness
the dispute has now passed, but when it again on the agenda of that trip, those two, even now, implanting the discussion again.
Whatever the explanation, the fact is that Ms. Harris actually jumped down while Harris continued to pedal at full speed, believing that his wife was still behind him.
At first, it seems, the lady thought that he would overcome the climb alone, at full speed, to show how good he was.
They were both very young then, and he used to do shows of his sports skills.
Mrs. Harris was convinced that, after the climb, it jumped off the bike and taking a pose and graceful ease, would be was still waiting for her.
When, by contrast, saw him cross the hill and slide down the hill to full speed, was at first shocked, then indignant, and finally the dismay seized her. He passed
running the uphill stretch and began to scream, but Harris did not turn around either.
She saw him disappear into the woods a mile away, after which she sat down and began to cry. They had a little quarrel that morning, and the poor girl began to think that Harris aves took it seriously and decided to pack it in the lurch.
He had no money and did not know the language of the country.
The people who went seemed to bemoan, and She tried to explain what had happened.
persons to whom he turned realized that it had lost something, but could not figure out what. They took her to the nearest town and entrusted to a police officer. These
, the pantomime of the lady, thought to realize that someone had stolen the bicycle. The telegraph was put into operation and, in a small town six miles away, a hapless boy was found with a woman's bicycle-type antediluvian. They brought it all to Mrs. Harris with a cart, but since she did not seem to want neither the boy nor his bicycle, let him go and resigned themselves to not understand anything.
Meanwhile, Harris, happy and joyful, had continued his run. He seemed suddenly to have become a stronger and more skilful rider. Convinced that he talk to his wife remarked
"For months I did not feel so light this machine. It must be the air that invigorates me."
Then he told her not to be afraid, that would show how fast they could go. He leaned on the handlebars and did force on the pedals. The bike would jump on the street like a living thing. The houses, churches, dogs and chickens flashed in front of Harris and passed.
The old man stopped to look at him in amazement. The children cheered.
This went on happily for six or seven kilometers.
Then, as he explains, was seized by the feeling that something was wrong. Not surprised his wife's silence and the wind blew hard and the car rattled considerably.
But he felt a strange sense of emptiness. He reached behind him and gasped, there was nothing, emptiness, and nothing else.
jumped, or rather rolled off the tandem, and looked back at the road that lay straight through the bush of white and dark green, and not a soul was in sight.
back into the car and retraced the climb.
Ten minutes later, he came to a crossroads, he stopped, got out and tried to remember which direction it came. While he was absorbed in thought, passed a man sitting sideways on a horse. Harris stopped him and explained that he had lost his wife.
The man did not have the air of wonder or to complain to him.
Meanwhile, another farmer who came first told the story, without taking it as seriously as he would tell a joke. Second runner seemed particularly amazed by the fact that Harris dramatized the incident. Saw that he could no solidarity by either, Harris cursed them both and went back on the tandem, choosing the middle road, in the case.
halfway up the hill, met with two girls accompanied by a young man. The trio seemed very interested in him, and asked Harris if they had seen his wife. They asked him how was his wife. He did not know enough Dutch to describe it well and could say only that it was a very beautiful woman, of medium height. That vague description did not seem to satisfy the three.
Anyone could whip up a similar description in order to claim a wife who did not belong.
asked him how he was dressed, but trying hard, Harris could not remember what his wife had worn.
In my opinion, any man is incapable of saying a woman dressed as he was, ten minutes after he left. Harris vaguely remembered a blue skirt, and then something that, for better or worse, the person covered up to his neck. Presumably, it was a blouse, and he also had the confused memory of a belt, but it was her blouse? It was green, yellow or blue?
Her collar was locked around the neck or with a tape? And the hat? It was adorned with feathers or flowers? But then there was his hat? Harris did not dare to make statements for fear of provoking a mistake that put him completely off the road. The two girls giggled, which, given his state of mind, irritated Harris. The young man, who seemed eager to get rid of him, suggested that he contact the police station of the nearest town.
Harris accepted the advice.
The police gave him a piece of paper and told him to fill a complete description of his wife, specifying how and where he had lost, he could only say the name of the place where they had breakfast. He knew then that his wife was with him, and that there were parties together.
agents looked at him with suspicion, and they had doubts on three points: First, it was really his wife? Second, he really lost? Third, because he had lost? With the help of a hotelier who chewed a bit 'of English, Harris was able to calm him down. They promised to investigate, and the same day his wife brought him in a covered wagon, together with the costs into account.
The meeting was not very tender.
Ms. Harris is not a good actress and manages with great difficulty to mask their feelings. On that occasion, as she herself admits, does not even try to mask them. [...]
from "Three men walking around", by JK Jerome, Edition "Bur boys", 1983, pp. 41-44.
